Monday, May 30, 2011

Sing...Sing a Song

Oh, blog how I have missed thee. I have been so busy lately that something HAD to give and well, I guess I spun one too many plates and the blog went on hiatus (again!) for a little while.

I wish I had a built in notepad. Like when an idea strikes me while I'm in the middle of making dinner or teaching Sunday school or watching swimming lessons, I could just tap my right ear, speak my idea and it would be recorded for posterity (and later use as a blog entry). But alas, I have no built-in micro chip (that I know of) so when I think of any idea, I either have to write it down super fast (then lose the written note) or try REAL hard to emblazon the thought in my brain so I will remember it later.

Fact is...neither of these options works very well for me. So all those fab ideas I concocted whilst super-duper busy the last several weeks...yeah, that's right. They're gone. So I think I will just hop back on the old 30 Days bandwagon and pick up where I left off:

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are....

When I am what? Stuck in an emotion? When I find 10 minutes to myself, alone, at home? I do listen to music but find the older I am, the less I am driven to listen to particular songs at particular times. I listen to what I like. As I review this list however, I see I am fervently stuck in the 90's. Many of the songs that really mean something to me...songs that awaken a place deep in my soul...come from that period. But not all of them. Some are new(er). I find I listen to new(er) music because of the young(er) people I work with. They tend to listen to the latest in alternative-type rock. I'm just along for the ride.

I do love Pandora internet radio. I have some 90's stations and some new(er) stations. I have some jazz and even a sneaky Christian music station. That's a nod to my friend Nate who claims Christian music is sneaky because it sounds good, you like it and then...BAM! turns out they are sneaking Christian lyrics in there. However, my favorite worship songs are unabashedly about Jesus.

So, here it is. My list of songs I listen to when I am...

The Ballad of Peter Pumpkin Head-XTC
Janglin'-Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

I Can Only Imagine-Mercy Me
Sour Times-Portishead
Love Will Come to You-Indigo Girls

Man in A Box-Alice In Chains
I Will Not Be Moved-Natalie Grant
Girlfriend-Matthew Sweet

Gray Cells Green-Neds Atomic Dustbin
Chasing Pavements-Adelle
Leave the Pieces-The Wreckers

How He Loves-David Crowder Band
Revelation Song-Phillips, Craig & Dean
Fall On Me - Kat Regester

Wide Open Spaces-Dixie Chicks
Crazy-Patsy Cline
Constant Craving-k.d. lang

So unless I figure out a way to get that notepad microchip installed, I will probably continue on my 30 day quest. Don't laugh because you know it's been nearly 7 months and I've only made it to number 10. See you soon with Day 11- Long term goals for this year/5 years from now/10 years from now.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Oops! I did it again

Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the recent weeks

For lack of something to write about in this specific category...I think I shall do the exact opposite: Something you're not so proud of in recent weeks. Get ready. This could be a long list.

Somewhere between trying to be all I can be and actually pulling off the "Mom of the Year" award I have failed. I failed to maintain the high level of housekeeping that would make the Flylady beam with pride. I have failed to maintain even the smallest effort at eating better. I have failed to control my temper and I have failed to keep up with the laundry. I have failed to color code my socks and I have failed at keeping up with this blog.

Okay, I don't really color code my socks. But you get the idea. I sometimes feel like I am walking around with a big red FAIL! stamped across my forehead.

When I think of all the things I didn't do I have to wonder: what the heck HAVE I been doing? If my list of things not accomplished continues this way...I don't know what I'm going to do! Maybe I am doing things without realizing what I'm doing. I remember reading that book Sybil when I was a teenager. Sybil had multiple personalities and would sometimes take off at night and lead a double life. She had no recollection of what she had done or where she had been but there would be evidence of her activity the next day. Maybe I'm like that. Except I'm having trouble finding the evidence.

I have been tempted on occasion to track my every waking minute to see just where the time goes. I've even downloaded a spread sheet and flowchart for just this purpose (I know you're shocked!) I have done this kind of thing in the workplace. What I learned from the experience is what I thought would only take me 20 minutes actually really took an hour.

So maybe that's the answer. Maybe I think I'm doing lots of things but it turns out it's really taking me much longer than I think so I am running out of time and not even realizing it.

To be fair, I really should fess up and share what I have been doing so maybe I can get to the bottom of this. Here's what I remember:

Monday: I'll be darned if I got one load of laundry started or got even one dish washed. I spent the evening at a VBS meeting. Very productive. I finalized plans for several of our teams and I got all the info I needed to order our craft supplies. I learned we have some very talented young people in the church and some resourceful more mature folks too. Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of them.

Tuesday: I made baked ravioli and garlic bread. The pan might still be soaking in the sink. I then argued with She Bug about why she should eat said ravioli and she argued back that she doesn't understand why I cook food she does not like. I then shuttled Miss Bug and her brother to gymnastics. He watched, she did back hand springs and walk overs on an empty stomach. I worked on more VBS details until the gym coach came to the waiting room to get me. "She's doing so great. I use her as an example several times each class. You have to come see this." Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of her.

Wednesday: I didn't get any laundry, dishes or VBS work done. The day started with Mr. Bug phoning me with news of a friend suffering a heart attack. Then Mr. Bug's mother found out she had a 75% blockage in her heart. Angioplasty cleared the blockage but she had to stay overnight in the hospital. The next morning as we were walking out the door, we got news of a close family friend who had suffered an accident that left him with a brain hemmorage. There seemed to be bad news everywhere and we were in a hurry. The Wee Bugs both said "we should stop for a minute and say some prayers." Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of them.

Thursday: I was so tired I dozed off while the Wee Bugs were watching cartoons after school. I did not get dinner ready. I did not do any laundry. I did not do any dishes. I did not work on VBS. What I did do was lounge on the couch while Mr. Bug made dinner and reminded the Wee Bugs to do their homework. We watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Then the Wee Bugs and I cuddled on the couch to watch American Idol together. Mr. Bug checked on two of our three hospitalized friends, cleaned up and sent me to bed with the wee ones at 9pm. Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of him.

Friday: Well here it is Friday night. Mr. Bug is spending the night with his mother who is home from the hospital. Our heart attack friend is in stable condition and our brain hemmorage friend was released today also. The Wee Bugs are tucked in for the night and I learned an important lesson: it's not the dishes or the laundry or the dusting or the condition of our toilets that really makes a difference. What matters is that I live the life I was created to lead. It matters that I spend more time thinking about the state of my heart than the state of my kitchen. It matters that in a profound kind of way being proud of something is really like being grateful for something.

I am grateful for the church folks who are willing to give their time and talents.

I am grateful for the coach who teaches my daughter and for the daughter who takes advice and practices faithfully.

I am grateful that my children have listened and learned that at the first sign of stress we should stop. And pray.

I am grateful my husband picks up my slack and treats me like a princess sometimes.

I am grateful I serve a loving God who does not condemn me when I make silly mistakes like thinking I am a failure because I didn't get the laundry or dishes or whatever done.

Oops! I did it again. I set out to convince myself that I have failed and it turns out the only thing I have failed at is proving that I'm a failure.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

thinking too much

I know it's been a long time so don't fall over when you see this! Whilst I am recovering from an unexpected bought of bronchitis (is there ever an expected bought?) I thought I might put my time to good use...or at least do something beside wheeze and cough my fool head off!

So, without further's the latest in my installment of 30 Day Blog Posts (okay, more like 30 Week):

Day 8: Short Terms Goals for This Month and Why

I will admit the delay in posting was not entirely based on my internet connection problem. My friend Ang (over at hit the nail on the head the other day when she said "stop thinking about it so much!" In other words, quit over-processing the topic and get your butt in gear! So, my internet connection has been restored and I am attempting to just "get on with it".

1) Goal #1 - School. Well, it's May. So that means finishing the school year with a bang instead of a slow fizzle. Already The Bugs are getting antsy and want to let their guard down. The only good thing about all the rain we've been getting? It makes the kids less inclined to think it's already summer. When it's a soaking wet 42 degrees outside and Noah's working on the ark in the back yard, it's hard to get really excited about summer fun like the pool, riding bikes, sidewalk chalk and popsicles.

2) Goal #2 = VBS. It's coming. Soon. And I'm in charge. I seem to have difficulty getting volunteers for this fun summer-time event. I don't think that's necessarily a personal failure, I just think there's a lot to distract folks...especially in the summer. This year we are doing a program called "Chase The Light". I'm excited about it! It's sort of a Glee (for the G-rated set) meets summer camp experience introducing all the Misfits from the Bible whose lives were forever changed when they met Jesus. So, if you're not busy June 20-23 from me. I have a place for you!

3) Goal #3 - Get Back on the Wagon. So you're wondering about the old weight loss journey? Yeah, me too. I did visit the dietician twice and I did try some supplements that were, meh. Bleh. Blah. Not so tasty. I have to admit I have not really been paying attention these last few weeks. I will step up and put blame where blame is due: it's my evil co-workers who are determined to see how many sweets they can possibly bring to the office in one day! No, really it's all me. I'm the one who has to make the decision to make this work. Or not. It didn't help that my insurance company denied my dietician visits and now I have a $250 bill to pay.

4) Goal # 4 - Get Back to Reality. I mean real reality. Not just reality television. I am so keyed up about all the shows that are heading to a finish that my mind cannot keep up. I've always been a loyal follower of Amazing Race but this year the kids sucked me into Dancing with the Stars and American Idol. Now I also catch Undercover Boss and the last hour of Celebrity Apprectice (what happened this week?!?) We need a calendar just to keep up with which show is which night. Thank goodness things are coming to a close. But, wait...there's more! So You Think You Can Dance will kick off just as soon as these others are wrapped up. Would somebody please get me off this crazy reality merry-go-round?

5) Goal #5 - Get A Clue. There's always those other goals floating around in the back of my noggin. You know the ones that are always there but that are rarely ever ALL achieved at once? Work more on my marriage, try to be a better mom, spend more time with Jesus (and less time with the television-see Goal #4), cook more real food, floss more often, drink more water and the list goes on and on and on. Having more on my list doesn't make me a better person. Oh, wow...think I just found my clue!

So, there you have it. Installment number 8...just for you Ang. I didn't think about it, I just let it fly. So no guarantees as to the cohesiveness or readability. This is what you get when I just jump right in wherever my brain happens to be. So, I'm not going to think about it anymore...

Well, maybe I should write a little more. Or maybe I should just start over. Or maybe no one really wants to read what I have to say. Or maybe I will just not hit the PUBLISH button or, um, maybe I'm just thinking too much?