the rest is still unwritten

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Well...just one? This will be a bit of a challenge. There are so many to choose from...all different shapes, sizes and colors! Hmmm...well, to get started let me fill you in on a little secret. Are you ready? It's a doozie and one you would never in a million years guess about me...okay, here goes:

I'm overweight.

I know, I know...you're shocked!

Of course this is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about habits. Obviously, I've got some issues with the wrong habits where this topic is concerned. And let me say for the record that I wish it were a big, fat secret (pun intended). I wish I could hide the fact that I have a love affair with food that goes beyond all reason. I wish I could hide the fact that my body has been ravaged by time, injury and disease. I wish I really was telling you something you didn't know. This habit I wish I didn't have: ignoring the fact that I am struggling to live up to my potential.

And, as I mentioned before...there's more where that came from.

I also wish I didn't have such a raging temper and seething anger. The Apostle Paul said it best in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Can I get an Amen?!? I am so caught up in doing what I don't want to do that I barely remember what it was that I actually WANTED to do in the first place! Human nature is a funny thing (thanks Adam and Eve for starting us down that slippery slope). I often try to reason with myself. I am not justifying my habit of quick temperedness, but rather trying to decide how in the heck did I get here when all I really wanted was to listen to, support, love, treasure, encourage and edify those around me. Maybe David Byrne and The Talking Heads were onto something with their song Once in a Lifetime. "Well...How did I get here?" and later, "My God, what have I done?" Yes, what have I done by unleashing this habit on those nearest and dearest to me?

I wish I had more time to spend purusing the depths of all my habits (bad or otherwise). But alas, time is not on my side. My wise blogging friend Ang reminded me that this process...this putting-it-all-out-there exposure should be first and for most for just one person: ME. A voyage of self-discovery if you will.

Answering these 30 Day Challenge questions has really forced me to take a step back and observe myself rather than just live in my own skin. It's not always easy and it's not always fun to be truthful. But it's just the beginning. And thanks to Natasha Bedingfield, Danielle Brisebois, and Wayne Rodriguez I'll leave you with these parting words:

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten.