Go Ahead...I Dare You

I'm back! I know you're shocked...falling out of your chair even. Lisa started blogging again? It can't be...she gave up on this endeavor long ago. Or did she?

Yes, I stopped but I didn't give up. I just took a little break and well, I miss this creative outlet. I miss being able to share my life and get all the crazy thoughts stirring around in my head into some sort of usable format. I have to apologize to my loyal followers. You cheered me on, you commented and encourged and then I just fell off the face of the earth last summer and you never heard from me again. I let life get in the way of living...which I am oft to do. I beg your pardon and hope you will continue on this journey with me.


I went back and re-read all my posts from last year. I had started this blog with the intent to follow certain posting guidelines; with hopes that the rigid structure of following a list (30 Days of Blogginess or whatever) would make me accountable. Um, not so much.


So I've been thinking about a way I can get started again. This time with the intent of using my words for good (not just an opportunity to promote a list of topics). I have recently subscribed to a blog called A Holy Experience. There is a challenge at hand over there. It's called One Thousand Gifts in 2012...Take the Joy Dare.

It's related to the book One Thousand Gifts ( A Dare to Live FULLY Right Where You Are) by Ann Voscamp. I haven't read the book but I know it's about gratitude and finding grace in your everyday life. The Dare started 7 days ago so I have a little catching up to do. What's really neat about this dare is that it can be words or images. So somedays I may capture my three graces with the camera instead of words.

I do believe that gratitude can have an overwhelmingly positive effect on your life. I need that right now. I am experiencing continuing (and increasing) physical pain. It makes me grumpy, grouchy and rather unappreciative of the things I should be counting as blessings.

So, in an effort to live fully right where I am (with pain, depression and uncertainty) I have decided to take The Dare. Will you join me?

Go ahead...I dare you!


Lisa's January Joy

1. 3 things about myself that I am grateful for:
1) I have a great sense of humor, 2) I have a heart for justice, 3)  I have nice handwriting.

2. A gift outside, inside, on a plate:
Outside: the sunshine! / Inside: comfy, attractive furniture / On a plate: lunch brought to me by my kids while in I was bed (with back pain)

3. 3 lines I overheard that were graces:
1) Luke telling his sister that he would stand up for her if someone was being mean at school.
2) Lily telling her dad is the best daddy in the wide world
3)

4. one gift old, new and blue
1) the marble mortar & pestle given to me by my friend Todd many years ago
2) the Keurig coffeemaker I received for Christmas
3) the dazzling blue sky (love sunny winter days!)

5. Something I am reading, making, seeing
1) I am reading "Then Came You" by Jennifer Weiner. I like a little fiction now and then.
2) I am working on my 2009 scrapbook album. I hope to finish it on Jan. 21 when I go to a 12-hour crop.
3) I saw the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". Thinking about trying a juice fast.

6. One thing in my bag, my fridge, my heart
1) Right now I am very thankful for the pain medication I carry in my bag everyday.
2) In my fridge are two octopus given to us by friends. I am thankful for the opportunity to try making calamari at home.
3) There is much gratitude in my heart for my mother. She has been so helpul the last few weeks while I have been under the weather. I am so proud of her for being healthy and mobile. Truth be told: I'm a little jealous too.

7. Three graces from people I love
1) My sister has been patient while I have been a bit lax at keeping up with the phone bill. We are on a family share plan and I so appreciate her grace.
2) My husband gives me grace everyday. He navigates the stairs when I cannot and he showers me with compliments even when I don't feel beautiful or happy.
3) My brother-in-law often comes to my rescue at the office. We work together and he often brings me a little gift to make my day or buys my lunch when I have no cash on hand. My sister is a very blessed woman.

8. Light that caught me, a reflection that surprised me, a shadow that fell lovely
1) The sun so dazzling on this winter's day is making the whole house full of light.
2) The over-head projector used at church this morning. The mirror was turned out to the side and made strange relections on the ceiling. We didn't  actually use the projector. It was an example of out-dated technology.
3) While working my way out of grogginess this morning before leaving my bed, I noticed a lovely way of shadows across the bedroom wall. It made the wall looked striped but it was really the striped curtains blocking out the sunlight. Small pleasures in small things.

More later,
Junebug

Sing...Sing a Song

Oh, blog how I have missed thee. I have been so busy lately that something HAD to give and well, I guess I spun one too many plates and the blog went on hiatus (again!) for a little while.

I wish I had a built in notepad. Like when an idea strikes me while I'm in the middle of making dinner or teaching Sunday school or watching swimming lessons, I could just tap my right ear, speak my idea and it would be recorded for posterity (and later use as a blog entry). But alas, I have no built-in micro chip (that I know of) so when I think of any idea, I either have to write it down super fast (then lose the written note) or try REAL hard to emblazon the thought in my brain so I will remember it later.

Fact is...neither of these options works very well for me. So all those fab ideas I concocted whilst super-duper busy the last several weeks...yeah, that's right. They're gone. So I think I will just hop back on the old 30 Days bandwagon and pick up where I left off:


Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are....

When I am what? Stuck in an emotion? When I find 10 minutes to myself, alone, at home? I do listen to music but find the older I am, the less I am driven to listen to particular songs at particular times. I listen to what I like. As I review this list however, I see I am fervently stuck in the 90's. Many of the songs that really mean something to me...songs that awaken a place deep in my soul...come from that period. But not all of them. Some are new(er). I find I listen to new(er) music because of the young(er) people I work with. They tend to listen to the latest in alternative-type rock. I'm just along for the ride.

I do love Pandora internet radio. I have some 90's stations and some new(er) stations. I have some jazz and even a sneaky Christian music station. That's a nod to my friend Nate who claims Christian music is sneaky because it sounds good, you like it and then...BAM! turns out they are sneaking Christian lyrics in there. However, my favorite worship songs are unabashedly about Jesus.

So, here it is. My list of songs I listen to when I am...

HAPPY
The Ballad of Peter Pumpkin Head-XTC
Janglin'-Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
Mercy-Duffy



SAD
I Can Only Imagine-Mercy Me
Sour Times-Portishead
Love Will Come to You-Indigo Girls



MAD
Man in A Box-Alice In Chains
I Will Not Be Moved-Natalie Grant
Girlfriend-Matthew Sweet



INTROSPECTIVE
Gray Cells Green-Neds Atomic Dustbin
Chasing Pavements-Adelle
Leave the Pieces-The Wreckers



WORSHIPFUL
How He Loves-David Crowder Band
Revelation Song-Phillips, Craig & Dean
Fall On Me - Kat Regester


SINGING KARAOKE
Wide Open Spaces-Dixie Chicks
Crazy-Patsy Cline
Constant Craving-k.d. lang

So unless I figure out a way to get that notepad microchip installed, I will probably continue on my 30 day quest. Don't laugh because you know it's been nearly 7 months and I've only made it to number 10. See you soon with Day 11- Long term goals for this year/5 years from now/10 years from now.

Oops! I did it again

Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the recent weeks

For lack of something to write about in this specific category...I think I shall do the exact opposite: Something you're not so proud of in recent weeks. Get ready. This could be a long list.

Somewhere between trying to be all I can be and actually pulling off the "Mom of the Year" award I have failed. I failed to maintain the high level of housekeeping that would make the Flylady beam with pride. I have failed to maintain even the smallest effort at eating better. I have failed to control my temper and I have failed to keep up with the laundry. I have failed to color code my socks and I have failed at keeping up with this blog.

Okay, I don't really color code my socks. But you get the idea. I sometimes feel like I am walking around with a big red FAIL! stamped across my forehead.

When I think of all the things I didn't do I have to wonder: what the heck HAVE I been doing? If my list of things not accomplished continues this way...I don't know what I'm going to do! Maybe I am doing things without realizing what I'm doing. I remember reading that book Sybil when I was a teenager. Sybil had multiple personalities and would sometimes take off at night and lead a double life. She had no recollection of what she had done or where she had been but there would be evidence of her activity the next day. Maybe I'm like that. Except I'm having trouble finding the evidence.

I have been tempted on occasion to track my every waking minute to see just where the time goes. I've even downloaded a spread sheet and flowchart for just this purpose (I know you're shocked!) I have done this kind of thing in the workplace. What I learned from the experience is what I thought would only take me 20 minutes actually really took an hour.

So maybe that's the answer. Maybe I think I'm doing lots of things but it turns out it's really taking me much longer than I think so I am running out of time and not even realizing it.

To be fair, I really should fess up and share what I have been doing so maybe I can get to the bottom of this. Here's what I remember:

Monday: I'll be darned if I got one load of laundry started or got even one dish washed. I spent the evening at a VBS meeting. Very productive. I finalized plans for several of our teams and I got all the info I needed to order our craft supplies. I learned we have some very talented young people in the church and some resourceful more mature folks too. Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of them.

Tuesday: I made baked ravioli and garlic bread. The pan might still be soaking in the sink. I then argued with She Bug about why she should eat said ravioli and she argued back that she doesn't understand why I cook food she does not like. I then shuttled Miss Bug and her brother to gymnastics. He watched, she did back hand springs and walk overs on an empty stomach. I worked on more VBS details until the gym coach came to the waiting room to get me. "She's doing so great. I use her as an example several times each class. You have to come see this." Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of her.

Wednesday: I didn't get any laundry, dishes or VBS work done. The day started with Mr. Bug phoning me with news of a friend suffering a heart attack. Then Mr. Bug's mother found out she had a 75% blockage in her heart. Angioplasty cleared the blockage but she had to stay overnight in the hospital. The next morning as we were walking out the door, we got news of a close family friend who had suffered an accident that left him with a brain hemmorage. There seemed to be bad news everywhere and we were in a hurry. The Wee Bugs both said "we should stop for a minute and say some prayers." Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of them.

Thursday: I was so tired I dozed off while the Wee Bugs were watching cartoons after school. I did not get dinner ready. I did not do any laundry. I did not do any dishes. I did not work on VBS. What I did do was lounge on the couch while Mr. Bug made dinner and reminded the Wee Bugs to do their homework. We watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Then the Wee Bugs and I cuddled on the couch to watch American Idol together. Mr. Bug checked on two of our three hospitalized friends, cleaned up and sent me to bed with the wee ones at 9pm. Oh wait. I might be a teensy bit proud of him.

Friday: Well here it is Friday night. Mr. Bug is spending the night with his mother who is home from the hospital. Our heart attack friend is in stable condition and our brain hemmorage friend was released today also. The Wee Bugs are tucked in for the night and I learned an important lesson: it's not the dishes or the laundry or the dusting or the condition of our toilets that really makes a difference. What matters is that I live the life I was created to lead. It matters that I spend more time thinking about the state of my heart than the state of my kitchen. It matters that in a profound kind of way being proud of something is really like being grateful for something.

I am grateful for the church folks who are willing to give their time and talents.

I am grateful for the coach who teaches my daughter and for the daughter who takes advice and practices faithfully.

I am grateful that my children have listened and learned that at the first sign of stress we should stop. And pray.

I am grateful my husband picks up my slack and treats me like a princess sometimes.

I am grateful I serve a loving God who does not condemn me when I make silly mistakes like thinking I am a failure because I didn't get the laundry or dishes or whatever done.

Oops! I did it again. I set out to convince myself that I have failed and it turns out the only thing I have failed at is proving that I'm a failure.